shall we?
click here for details.
it looks like it could be a good time, just walking around dallas, and you must admit we already have a formidable team readily assembled.
if we want to do it, we really need to get moving on it so let me know asap.
from the looks of it, they are pretty low on participants, our friends will double the numbers. our participation will make an impact on the event. let's do it.
and i'll tell you why. i had to take it my freshman year and from the very first day, i did not understand. i could fake my way through the homework, but the tests were killer. just 3 super hard problems. i tried and tried and got a big fat D. it never clicked, i never really got it. i cried. a large part of my self-identity is being intelligent so when something challenges this, it's distressing to me.
so, like i said before, i've been secretly learning calculus. on my own, with the occasional question for my little bro. i get it! i get it! i get it! i'm smart! the sun is a little brighter, the air a little fresher. i'm proud of myself. do you think i can retake calculus and add it to my already complete transcript? eh? me either. so i guess there's nothing left to do but officially declare calculus my bitch. seven years later.
also, it has inspired me to do other things that are complicated and challenging that i would not have done before. when i broke my polaroid i took it apart and put it back together properly. more recently and more impressive, i think, i fixed the fountain in my mom's fish pond. first of all, i had to figure out how to get it out without actually putting my hand in the water, you know, since there's fish in there. then i took it apart and put it back together. and it actually worked!who knew i was so mechanically inclined? not i.
tony said my blog has too many words. :(
in case you were wondering, i don't plan on being a lady of leisure much longer. indeed, i have a plan. i know, i've had quite a few plans in the last few years. let's see....there was grad school for library science, there was talk of going back for psychology, then the law school ordeal. i can't even remember what i wanted to do when i was in college. i really don't think i had a plan. and here i am.
it's too hard to decide what to do for the rest of your life. how do people know? how do you guys do it? i can't commit. to anything. unfortunately, most of the careers that interest me require advanced degrees. going back to school = major commitment. therefore, i back out at the last minute. its the fear that gets me! though i think i was right to back out of law school. i'm pretty sure i would be miserable right now if i had gone through with it. 80 hours a week is no way to live. i like life.
here are a few things holding me back, careerwise:
1) i am a person divided. i have two sides that are in conflict with each other. i am artistic, creative, and bohemian, yet i have a nerd inside me too. i like geeky books and science and writing a lot. i was always afraid that an art job (like graphic design) would be intellectually unsatisfying. but a smarty-pants job (like law) would be missing the creative element. what's a girl to do. with such varied interests its no wonder i could never choose anything and go with it.
2) my parents. they are not terrible people, but they can be a little demoralizing. prestige is important to them. only respectable careers for our family. studying art in college actually caused a large rift between us. we didn't talk for awhile, i was cut off financially, and i ended up paying for my last few years of college. they were psyched about law school, of course, and ever since i told them that i wasn't going, my dad has been trying to get me to work for him. they have given up on me. they are not on board with the plan.
3) my perceptions. i think i've been a little silly about things. careers aren't permanent. they don't completely define you as a person. you still have your personality, friends, and home life. it's ok to choose something. i can change my mind.
i've decided to become an art teacher. i'm thinking elementary. it's not prestigious, it doesn't pay much, and i'm sure it's very challenging. however, i love kids, art, and the creative process. and summers off? heck yes. it's great for now. i'm letting my bohemian side win until i'm thirty. then i'll reevaluate my situation.
a goal for the future is to get into art therapy. i have taught art at scottish rite children's hospital before and seen the positive effects of art therapy. amazing. i do need grad school for this. hopefully after teaching for awhile, i can get my school to pay for my master's. yeah!
the plan is to enroll in the alternative certification program this summer. in the meantime, i dunno. office work? retail? whatev. i'm just killing time. my parents hate this plan. they think i'll never be able to retire. i'll be poor forever. just terrible.
i think it's a good plan.
pretty good weekend, if you ask me.
friday
wonderfully successful shopping day. i'm most excited about my amazing new dress (btw thank you, anna sui, for making your clothes in america) and my cool headband. good stuff. although i was meant to get boots.....oh well, another day. while i'm being narcissistic i should mention that i am loving the way my hair is growing out. it's finally long enough to be curly and messy again, which is fantastic. friday afternoon i headed over to julian's place and we watched american pimp and started our weekend off right. grabbed some dinner with lauren at taco c and started in on the drinking. we tried power hour but lauren was resistant. we got a little too tipsy to leave the house, but a great night anyway. at one point, lauren started doing this voice that totally sounded like the creepy old child molester on family guy, and i laughed and laughed and laughed. my only regret is that more people didn't join us at chez julian.
saturday
something about saturday felt festive. a good day to dress colorfully, wear my hobo hat, and drink heavily. i showed up at hance's ready to party with a giant bottle of tequila and little umbrellas (festive, you see). i think my margaritas got progressively better with every round, but perhaps i'm flattering myself. i will admit that i got a little out of control, and things are fuzzy. you might say i pulled a sarah, but he wasn't entirely random. and let's face it, being a friend of hance's lends a lot of credibility. hance has some pictures that could probably ruin a campaign for public office. damn. luckily, sarah was totally on my level so there was someone else running around acting as foolish as myself. we went to fallout, which turned out to be a good choice. just enough off the beaten path to be invisible to texas/ou fans. also, i can dance like a dumbass by myself there and no one even notices. i am norm peterson, and fallout is my cheers.
sunday
"if i don't eat something right now, i'm gonna throw up." -sarah
sarah and i woke up on hance's couches. josh was on the floor, i can't believe we didn't share couch space! sorry! the night's events came rushing back, and we compared notes. sarah and i were filthy from the knees down, how does this happen? it looked like we had rolled around in the alley behind meridian. we didn't, right? we were starving and headed to jake's, which was a great choice. spicy fries do wonders for a hangover. i went home, watched napoleon dynamite, and slept the day away.
highlights
-playing caps with the world champions. josh and i beat sarah and hance, and i helped. 2 points!
-sarah, lauren, and i matched again. that's crazy. how do we do it?
-josh's disgusting but quite hilarious vegas story. i'm never going to vegas.
-dancing at fallout with hayden, we were both cracking up. yet more evidence that hayden rules.
-nap time.
fuzzy memories
-did we play spin the bottle in the cafe? whaaaaaat the hell?
-did ak just show up at fallout? and wasn't john w. around for awhile?
-sarah and i drunkenly putting on makeup at around midnight.....
-i don't remember anything after fallout, i probably don't want to know.
aids, aids aids!
i hope you've seen team america: world police, or else you're probably thinking that i'm a deeply disturbed individual. oh well.
anyway, a good friend of mine is doing an aids walk in indiana and you should donate money to her cause. i'll give you three good reasons.
1. you can donate whatever you want. $5 if you so choose. you won't miss 5 bucks. do it.
2. it's easy, you can do it on the internet. you don't even have to stand up. geez.
3. kari rules. she has dedicated a huge part of her life to the aids crisis and public health in general, and i think we can honor her sacrifices with a little support for the cause.
yes?
yes.
http://AIDSWALK2007.kintera.org/haecker
from the front porch: 
the town square: 
ah, high school. they have giant lockers, and all day i wondered if i could fit in one. i think yes.
rehearsal. nothing says homecoming queen like soccer shorts and heels.
formal assembly. quite a production.
pep assembly. the candidates had to do a rather embarrassing dance to a medley of popular rap songs. alex was not psyched about it.
parade! cool car, vintage shades, i like her style.
the game. the big moment.
look closely. flipping the bird in public is sort of a family tradition. don't ask.
and the girl with the ugliest dress won. ah well.
i'm unbelievably glad i was able to be there for my sister. was more than worth the effort of the trip. she was actually a terrible queen candidate, and i mean that in the best possible way. she forgot her tiara, got stoned before the assembly, phoned in the pep assembly dance, and neglected most preparatory details until the night before. she was the anti-queen, really. the underdog for sure. it would have been nice to see her win.
now check this out: 
oh my, what a trip. most of it was unpleasant, but there were some highlights. like taking my little 5 year old cousin to the park. she's cute.
earlier this summer we were hanging out and picking dandelions. when she made a wish she whispered, "i wish alison was my best friend." she'll break your heart with the cuteness.
